Momma (possibly my longest and most depressing blog)

My sweet, adorably short Momma. No person on this earth has loved nor ever will  love me as much as she did. I can say this without doubt now because I'm a mother. My sister and I were her world, she was a very needy person she constantly needed someone to love her. Kelly and I filled that spot with ease. We were never allowed beyond our yard for the fear of someone taking us or hitting us with their car. Our world was semi perfect in that she did everything to never let anyone hurt us. My sister was cripplingly attached and had panic attacks when away from Momma. 

I said in my first post, she was the most selfless person I have ever known, she was also the most compassionate. She never taught me how to put on makeup or be super girly, that wasn't her thing. What I did learn from my Momma was to love unconditionally. I watched her take care of her Mother and Father while they were sick. My Franny Betty was diagnosed with ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease in 2007. My momma and daddy moved in and took care of her until her passing four short month later in October 2007. She lost her sister, one brother, father, and mother all too soon. It hurt so much to see her go through each of those.

   I was married the next summer in 2008. Momma was so excited and sad. I would be leaving her and moving in with my husband. She helped me get ready, calmed my nerves and held me. Lord did she love  Chris. She couldn't be happier with my hubby :D She insisted on many occasions that she married him first and i couldn't have him,hussy. Two whole whoppin months later and I find out I'm pregnant. Talk about the most excited woman in the world, she was the first person I told. I thought my momma might do a back flip and pee her pants. She went to Dr's visits with me, took care of me when I was sick. It was awesome having her there for my pregnancy. My boys came very early, she was there every step of the way.

First hands on with Reagan

First time holding her babies

She was made to be Reagan and Pierce's Nannie. She and my sister watched them when I went back to work.  During this time she had a lot of problems with what we thought was carpal tunnel. It got to where she couldn't hold the boys without someones help. It broke her heart. She started losing weight and refused to believe that it was something worse. we would find out later that summer of 2010 that she, like my Franny Betty, had ALS. She went from the chubby cheeked Nannie above to skin and bones in no time

She still insisted on wearing her 3x shirts hehe

Als is a horrific and terminal illness. She lost all control of her muscles. By 2011 She had to use a wheelchair and had trouble speaking. She got very sick that June after a rough bout with Septicemia we almost lost her but she was stubborn and wouldn't have it. She came home to her babies :D

August 13th, after days of holding on, our precious Momma passed away. My daddy was right by her side. Worst day of my life. I wanted to say that I was happy she was no longer in pain and no longer suffering, I really was. The truth is I was incredibly selfish. I didn't want her to go. I didn't have enough time with her, 24 years was not enough. It still isn't. It's going on 3 years and it still hurts. My sister will be getting married this year; it breaks my heart to know she wont have my momma like I did. DEPRESSING sorry :D  It won't be as long and depressing next time. I loved my Momma and miss her everyday. She was my best friend

Fin Frands